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Apple Releases New Macintosh Extension



CUPERTINO, California-April 1, 1992--Apple Computer, Inc., made a major addition to the software that runs the Macintosh computer today with the release of the Caffeine Manager, an extension to System 7.0 that allows all Macintosh computers to interface cleanly and easily with such devices as coffee percolators and soda machines.

"We're really excited about this release," says Mike "Ro" Soft of Apple DTS (Drink The Soda). "Users and programmers alike now can immediately have access to a wide variety of commercial beverages from their desktop, all with the familiar Macintosh mouse-driven interface."

The Caffeine Manager 1.0, available immediately from major commercial outlets as well as anonymous ftp from ftp.apple.com, will expand Macintosh connectivity on all models by providing a plug-and-play interface to Mr. Coffee machines and clones. High-end Quadra machines running it will be able to administrate a network containing soft drink vending machines.

Mr. Soft adds, "We hope this software will be a major step in crossing the fine line between word processors and food processors."
John Sculley, CEO of Apple Computer, was quick to hail the Caffeine Manager as a turning point in the development of the Macintosh. "It's where I've envisioned the company going, it's a dream I've had since my last job," he states. "This will make the Macintosh the choice of a new generation."

The first product to make use of the Caffeine Manager will be QuickBrew. Due to be released later this year, it will integrate sound and video with cream and sugar, and optional third-party ADB (Apple Desktop Brew) hardware will allow it to make a great cup of cappuccino.

Developers will be receiving recyclable aluminum CD's containing specifications for the Caffeine Manager resource types 'JOLT', 'KOLA', and 'JAVA' later this week.

Apple Computer, founded fifteen years ago today, is one of the world's major consumers of Mountain Dew.






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- Walter Cronkite

April and her band of fools just love the tomfoolery on this site. From media hoaxes to pranks to gag gifts to practical jokes this site makes me laugh even when I'm in trouble with the law. Say, does anyone know if April is available because I would like to be her fool if you know what I mean. And if not does she have a sister?

- Bill Clinton

This April fools practical jokes and gag gifts pad is a jolly good site, indeed. I perused it over one time and laughed so hard it almost made me pee. Then a month later, I thought I would look up a few April fools practical jokes to play on dear young William (and even bought a few gag gifts) and I came back to this pad and laughed so hard I did pee my pants. Jolly good thing I am wearing Depends now days.

- Queen Elizabeth

It is not knowledge that is important, but rather imagination. And this April fools site is chocked full of imagination. And of course knowledge. Of course you can't deny the great gag gifts and practical jokes you find here, either. When I wrote my great theory I wasn't really thinking of great media hoaxes or fart jokes but yes, now I see that they too can apply. The jokes here are practical and the gifts make me gag. Would you like to see me slurp a loogie?

Eddie Einstein (Albert's little brother)

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