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Bureau of Internet Affairs


United States Government Announces Solutions To Ensure A Safer Internet

WASHINGTON, DC-The United States Government announces today a series of broad-based solutions to ensure that the inhabitants of Cyberspace enjoy a safer internet. Members of Congress have thought long and hard about this and have made a series of policy decisions on Internet issues that will ease the use of the internet for all users.

Bureau of Internet Affairs

The United States has established a Bureau of Internet Affairs "BIA" under the Federal Communications Commission ("FCC") that protects Internet users' rights and interests in the federal government, and throughout the several States and Outlying Areas. The BIA provides vital services and opportunities to all American Internet users.

The new federal agency can contract with private companies, and with local and state agencies, to ensure that essential Internet users needs are met in every rural, urban and suburban area in America.

The FCC is an independant government agency charged with regulating interstate and international communications by radio, television, wire, satellite, cable, and the internet.

Domain Names

Congress has been aware, over the last year or so, of the increasing number of trademark disputes that are occuring with internet domain names. We believe this is largely due to the increasing use by criminals of the internet domain name space. To prevent further widespread criminal activity, all Domain Name Service ("DNS") activity will be halted immediately until appropriate laws can be passed to allow proper DNS regulation by the FCC. As of today, it becomes a criminal offence to give out a domain name in order to solicit commerce over the internet, or to use domain names to connect to computers that could have been contacted instead by a perfectly usable IP address. Instead, users are required to give out the host IP address of the computer they wish to identify.

Temporary licenses are obtainable through the FCC which grant restricted use of DNS to qualified organizations provided that the DNS is only used on an internal intranet which is not connected in any way to the public internet.

The FCC will shortly begin issuing internet broadcast licenses as a replacement to domain names. [A "Domain Name" is the name after the '@' symbol in your email address. An "IP Address" is a number that is used to identify a computer on the internet]

Protecting US Borders

In order to win the battle to keep pornography out of American children's school computer networks, Congress has decided that we must eradicate all foreign pornography from the US internet. Starting today, work will begin to "firewall" the US part of the internet from the rest of the world. As security experts acknowledge, this is the most effective method of creating a secure network of computers immune from the evils of hackers, child-pornographers, and other unsociable influences, short of disconnecting it altogether.

United States Customs begins accepting applications today from organizations who are passing internet traffic across international borders for US Firewall licenses. Failure to obtain a US Firewall license within the next 30 days will result in the removal of that organization from the US internet border, and, as with any border, there will be stiff penalties for improper use, smuggling of digital contraband, etc.

As a condition of US Customs granting a US Firewall license, each organization operating a border firewall will implement the "Clipper Packet Filtering" protocol on their firewall equipment. This is an exciting new technology that implements the same kind of rating system as the V-Chip, except that it is enhanced to identify criminal activity occuring at the US internet border that could harm or damage computer property. As a result, all viruses, trojan horses, and other potentially damaging computer programs will not be granted access onto the US internet. In addition, criminals (such as drug smugglers) using encryption technology will not be able to pass encrypted messages through the border firewall without it first being decoded by a law enforcement official.

Telephone Software Regulation

A growing number of companies are selling software programs with ancillary hardware options that enable a computer to transmit voice conversations.

This, in fact, creates the ability to "by-pass" local, long distance and international carriers and allows for calls to be made for virtually "no cost." For example, on-line service providers generally charge users around $10.00 for five hours of access and then around $3.00 for each additional hour. Five hours equals 300 minutes, divided by $10 is 3.3 cents per minute. The average residential long distance telephone call costs about 22 cents per minute or seven times as much.

The FCC now has been given jurisdiction over the use of the Internet for unregulated interstate and international telecommunications services. Use of voice telephony software now must be approved by the FCC to operate and users must file tariffs before both the FCC and state public service commissions.

It is now a criminal offense to make telephone calls over the internet that are not first approved by the FCC.

Exon Machine

A number of outstanding internet problems can be solved if we are able to identify the age of the person accessing the internet. Internet Providers ("ISP") would be able to automatically filter out undesirable material targeted towards our childen when they used the internet. Thanks to the new "Exon Machine" (otherwise known as the "Exon Social Security Server", and named after Sen. James Exon) which stores social security information on over 240 million Americans at each ISP, the ISP will be able to determine who the internet user is, and route approved portions of the internet to them when unlocked by the Exon Machine. Exon Press Secretary Russ Rader has described this as "one of the most exciting solutions available to the NSA today".

We look forward to making the internet a safer place for you.
See you on-line!
Sincerely,

Congressman Rick White
http://www.house.gov/white/

Senator Patrick Leahy
http://www.house.gov/~leahy

Congressman Rick Boucher
http://www.house.gov/boucher/welcome.htm

Senator Larry Pressler
http://www.senate.gov/senator/pressler.html
Speaker Newt Gingrich
mailto:georgia6@hr.house.gov

Congressman Jack Fields
Congressman Edward Markey
Congressman Mike Oxley
http://www.house.gov/oxley/welcome.html

Congressman Christopher Cox
Congresswoman Anna Eshoo
http://www-eshoo.house.gov/

Congressman Bob Goodlatte
mailto:talk2bob@hr.house.gov

Congressman Tom Campbell
mailto:campbell@hr.house.gov

Congressman Robert Walker
http://www.house.gov/walker/welcome.html

Congresswoman Jennifer Dunn
mailto:dunnwa08@hr.house.gov

Congressman Vern Ehlers
http://www.house.gov/ehlers/welcome.html

Senator Slade Gorton
http://www.senate.gov/senator/gorton.html

Senator Conrad Burns
http://www.senate.gov/~burns

Senator Ron Wyden
http://www.senate.gov/senator/wyden.html

Congressman Sam Farr
http://www.house.gov/farr/welcome.html

Congressman Bill Luther
http://www.house.gov/luther/welcome.html

Congresswoman April Fool

 

 


 

 

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- Walter Cronkite


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- Bill Clinton


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- Queen Elizabeth


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Eddie Einstein (Albert's little brother)





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