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Internet Down For Cleaning

1997

In order to clear out the "electronic flotsam and jetsam" the Internet would be shutdown for cleaning - at least this was one of the messages circulating on the web in 1997. Dead e-mail and inactive ftps, www, and gopher sites would be purged according to the email. The email went on to say, the cleaning would be done by "five very powerful Japanese-built multi-lingual Internet-crawling robots (Toshiba ML-2274) situated around the world."

During this cleaning period, users were warned to detach all devices from the Internet. The origins of this message were said to come from the "Interconnected Network Maintenance Staff, Main Branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology." This email was reminiscent of the old phone prank where targets were told the phone lines would be cleaned on April 1 and they needed to put plastic sacks around their telephones to catch all of the phone dust that may be blown out.

Original Message - 1996

DO NOT CONNECT TO THE INTERNET FROM 12:01 AM GMT ON FEB. 29 TO 12:01 AM GMT, MARCH 1 !!

*** *** Attention ***

It's that time again!

As many of you know, each leap year the Internet must be shut down for 24 hours in order to allow us to clean it. The cleaning process, which
eliminates dead email and inactive ftp, www and gopher sites, allows for a better-working and faster Internet.

This year, the cleaning process will take place from 12:01 a.m. GMT on
Feb. 29 until 12:01 a.m. GMT on March 1. During that 24-hour period, five powerful Internet-crawling robots situated around the world will search the Internet and delete any data that they find.

In order to protect your valuable data from deletion we ask that you do the following:

1. Disconnect all terminals and local area networks from their Internet
connections.

2. Shut down all Internet servers, or disconnect them from the Internet.

3. Disconnect all disks and hardrives from any connections to the Internet.

4. Refrain from connecting any computer to the Internet in any way.

We understand the inconvenience that this may cause some Internet
users, and we apologize. However, we are certain that any
inconveniences will be more than made up for by the increased speed and efficiency of the Internet, once it has been cleared of electronic flotsam and jetsam. We thank you for your cooperation.

Kim Dereksen
Interconnected Network Maintenance staff
Main branch, Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Sysops and others: Since the last Internet cleaning, the number of
Internet users has grown dramatically. Please assist us in alerting
the public of the upcoming Internet cleaning by posting this message
where your users will be able to read it. Please pass this message on to
other sysops and Internet users as well. Thank you.



 

 


 

 

The april fools practical jokes and gag gifts contained in this site are so funny that if I am drinking milk while checking these jokes out, I snort all that white liquid out my nose! Don't be one of the april fools, doggonit, check these practical jokes and gag gifts out! The practical jokes practically bring the house down! Down through history the fools of April have had their day, one day a year. See what those april fools have been up to and don't laugh with them, laugh at them.

- Walter Cronkite


April and her band of fools just love the tomfoolery on this site. From media hoaxes to pranks to gag gifts to practical jokes this site makes me laugh even when I'm in trouble with the law. Say, does anyone know if April is available because I would like to be her fool if you know what I mean. And if not does she have a sister?

- Bill Clinton


This April fools practical jokes and gag gifts pad is a jolly good site, indeed. I perused it over one time and laughed so hard it almost made me pee. Then a month later, I thought I would look up a few April fools practical jokes to play on dear young William (and even bought a few gag gifts) and I came back to this pad and laughed so hard I did pee my pants. Jolly good thing I am wearing Depends now days.

- Queen Elizabeth


It is not knowledge that is important, but rather imagination. And this April fools site is chocked full of imagination. And of course knowledge. Of course you can't deny the great gag gifts and practical jokes you find here, either. When I wrote my great theory I wasn't really thinking of great media hoaxes or fart jokes but yes, now I see that they too can apply. The jokes here are practical and the gifts make me gag. Would you like to see me slurp a loogie?

Eddie Einstein (Albert's little brother)





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