| In a rare show of
solidarity, all major airlines in North American
have announced today that all kids aged 0
to 17 will fly free on all routes. Spokesman
Mike Ep, president of Intercontinental Airlines,
was misty-eyed as he proclaimed:
"It's hard enough
for parents to afford to raise kids, let
alone give them decent vacations. This is
our way of saying, 'Thanks for everything,
Mom and Dad.'"
Especially generous
is the provision to allow grown children
still living at home the same fly-free privilege.
Says Ep, "It seems like the only fair
thing to do. No Kids' Meals for the kiddies
over thirty, though."
Going one step further,
the Canadian government has announced that
it will fund free resort stays for families.
"We think it's only prudent,"
says Finance Minister Maul Partin. "Sociological
studies clearly show that Canadian children
who escape winter with a holiday at a Caribbean
resort almost never grow up to be criminals.
By spending our money now on preventative
family resort holidays, we can save billions
on the justice system down the line."
Not to be outdone,
Behemoth Cruise Lines has a bold new pricing
policy for families: kids pay only the amount
of money the child has in his or her piggybank.
All in all, 2002
could be the best year ever for families,
if only April 1st pricing policies can be
extended to the entire year.
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