Teachers Head Explodes Because of
A 42-year-old sociology teacher named Geoffrey Crumb
had his head explode in class one day apparently from
Wifi signals that were given out by his pupils texting.
According to one of the students the explosion was
like "a dog in a microwave".
Mr. Crumb was apparently the victim of new age cyber
bullying. According to The Register, "Having
been repeatedly subjected to ritual 'double-blind'
tests by a 'gang' of physics and technology teachers
in the staff room, who would laugh at him and snap
towels when he failed to state correctly whether or
not a given piece of equipment was switched on or
off, Crumb was thought to have been easy prey when
unscrupulous media technofear hypesters came knocking."
More dreaded than the movie Scanners, yet short of
a Columbine style massacre, the Wifi head explosion
suggests an unnatural empowerment of students over
faculty. With the combined force of cell phones and
texting no one is now safe. Teachers will now be eyeballing
their students more closely.
Opposing sports teams will have to look over their
shoulders at the crowd and wonder if they are next.
Squirrels will flee in terror at the sight of groups
of texting students roaming around campus. Oh, the
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Head Explodes Wifi