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Teachers Head Explodes Because of Wifi

A 42-year-old sociology teacher named Geoffrey Crumb had his head explode in class one day apparently from Wifi signals that were given out by his pupils texting. According to one of the students the explosion was like "a dog in a microwave".

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Mr. Crumb was apparently the victim of new age cyber bullying. According to The Register, "Having been repeatedly subjected to ritual 'double-blind' tests by a 'gang' of physics and technology teachers in the staff room, who would laugh at him and snap towels when he failed to state correctly whether or not a given piece of equipment was switched on or off, Crumb was thought to have been easy prey when unscrupulous media technofear hypesters came knocking."

More dreaded than the movie Scanners, yet short of a Columbine style massacre, the Wifi head explosion suggests an unnatural empowerment of students over faculty. With the combined force of cell phones and texting no one is now safe. Teachers will now be eyeballing their students more closely.

Opposing sports teams will have to look over their shoulders at the crowd and wonder if they are next. Squirrels will flee in terror at the sight of groups of texting students roaming around campus. Oh, the humanity!

For further reading see Teachers Head Explodes Wifi

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