President Hart has declared the University
of New Hampshire a sovereign nation, formally
announcing our secession from the United States
of America. The Student Senate, in a rare
unanimous decision, voted to support her,
declaring her Glorious Revolutionary Leader
and establishing the Articles of Revolution,
which declare the Durham campus' independence
from the United States.
At a ceremony this morning on the lawn
in front of Thompson Hall, the president
gave a speech condemning the tyranny of
the imperialist American juggernaut, calling
it a "nexus of evil." She listed
the grievances of a life subjugated to the
"American way of life--a way of corruption!"
Her enthusiasm mounting, she continued:
"Too long have we lived under the shadow
of this bloody flag! This flag, which as
flown above genocide, when the Native Americans
were systematically uprooted and murdered.
This flag, which has flown above the enslavement
of millions of Africans. This flag, which
flew above the horrors of industrialization,
when thousands of workers suffered and died
in the crucibles of steely progress! This
flag, which even now denies the ordinary
human rights of the prisoners at Guantanamo
Bay! This flag, which all but approves the
corruption of our nation's privileged elites,
who sit in their executive meetings and
government offices, deciding how best to
bleed their serfs for their own vampiric
glut! This flag, under which automobiles
are cheaper than medicine. This flag, which
even now flutters in the polluted breeze,
endorsing the poisoning of our air, water,
and soil." She went on this way for
several minutes.
Despite the relative shortage of complete
sentences, the speech was well received.
The audience cheered at the climax of the
ceremony, in which the ROTC, now the Student
Army of Freedom, symbolically lowered the
U.S. flag. A new flag, designed by Editorial
& Creative Services, took its place
in front of Thompson Hall, an area now designated
"Revolutionary Green." Nearby,
the UNH band began to play the first few
notes of the "The Internationale."
In the second half of Hart's speech, which
is considered to be the first address to
the new nation, the President spoke of creating
a new kind of society, one founded on principles
of academic excellence and cultural diversity.
She spoke of remaking UNH into a "Student's
Paradise" in which people can be free
of the "slings and arrows" of
the greater "ignorance" of the
United States.
By Tom Olson, People's
Journalist
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